Saturday’s members only derby is close….FORZA LABRONICI…AVANTI AMARANTO !

In all honesty, I’d be lying if said I’m pissed and surprised, Aldo’s rants and signings had Serie B written all over it since day 1. Anyways, why would Serie A deserve a team with no (infra)structure or Primavera that has produced nothing but indirectly moulding Giorgio Chiellini,Cristiano Lucarelli and Marco Amelia. I’m not saying Livorno will be pulling an Ancona and disappear but Livorno need to work on the company before being a real Serie A worthy team. 150,000 population and the highest unemployment rate(Top 10 for sure) in all of Italy but they still manage to get UEFA cup action and memorable moments. But Aldo fucked it all up, while pocketing enough to leave Livorno without an empty wallet. The only thing that pisses me off about Livorno this year, is that Relegation has Aldo Spinelli-behind the scenes-calciopoli-esque-string-pulling written all over it. It clearly feels like it was wanted or planned or whatever. With Orsi coming back to insure everything would go down (pun intended) as planned! That’s what pisses me off the most !

Fuckin’ Aldo saying at the beginning of the season how this was the most talented team he
had ever put together, maybe if this was the end of the 1990’s Aldo because Diego Tristan is what I would call a has been. 1 goal form the Spaniard, 1 measely fuckin’ goal all season. Francesco Tavano ? What the hell was that ? Replacing Lucarelli, a hometown hero/legend with Tavano!? He’s isn’t even a has been god damn it he’s a never was at all. Oh yeah and backing up this untalented duo with Fausto Rossini and Francesco- I didn’t play a single minute all fuckin’ year – Volpe. Thank God Ale Diamanti pulled some talent out of his ass because we would of looked even worse on the pitch all season.

And now Aldo’s saying how he’ll be starting over with the Lucarelli brothers in Serie B, yeah right Aldo and Irishpeople don’t like potatoes. Stop Lying you fat bastard! Basically I’m pissed and my mind is disorganised and I’m sure you all feel the same way

Forza Ragazzi !

*this photo pretty much sums up our Serie A situation

So it doesn’t get more meaningful than this. Livorno need to head into Bergamo with a knife in their teeth and all cylinders going. This game is THE game of the season, until next week of course. But Livorno need to take 3 points against a nothing-left-to-win-or-lose Atalanta squad. Who cares about Fernando Orsi being the coach, Aldo’s crazyness and Marco Amelia’s health it’s all about survival right now. Stick the team bus infront of the nets and hope that Alè Diamanti’s lethal left foot strikes again !

Forza Ragazzi !

Probable Formations

Atalanta

(4-4-1-1):
Coppola,
Fissore, Talamonti, Manfredini, Bellini,
Ferreira Pinto, Tissone, Guarente, Padoin,
Doni,
Floccari

Livorno

(3-5-2):
Amelia,
Knezevic, Pavan, Grandoni,
Balleri, Pulzetti, Bergvold, A. Filippini, Pasquale,
Diamanti, Tavano

This what Happened last time

Prediction : 2-1 Livorno

Atalanta’ll get one but Diamanti and Tavano will bring back 3 points to the Picchi. They have to, they need to !
Forza Amaranto !

Finally a game Livorno can easily get points from. Roma is one of the crappiest teams in Serie A, and has been for the last couple of years now. The red and yellows have a bunch of no names and has-beens on their squad so Livorno will easily be able to breeze through this one using their awesome fire power, cluster fuck attack and fluidity at going from defense to attack. The solid livornese Midfield will be able to provide our world class attackers with enough useful balls to see us bring back the 3 points from this one and keep our scudetto hopes alive.

Seeing how Roma sucks hard at home, this will the perfect opportunity to get closer to that Scudetto or at least secure that 2nd place that’s so important for the CL and the August time off. Even if their owner is done with this team at the end of the season, that doesn’t mean Roma will want to go down in flames so I expect a hard fought battle. But seeing the difference in talent, especially on paper, I say Livorno has the upper edge and should be coming out of this one with their heads up high and another convincing win to insert in the standings. This game couldn’t have come at a better time for Livorno seeing how they get to meet a crappy team before the oh-so-important final 5 game stretch to the season.

The amazing firepower, world class defence and unique Livorno style of play is no match for the mini minnows that call themselves Roma. It’s no surprise that a little team like Roma doesn’t have the necessary environment to provide their fans with the talent and teams they deserve, but that’s just how it is. I don’t have time to feel bad for the smaller team or to root for the underdog, I’m just not like that.

This is what happened last time :

Look at our world class attacker take that crappy Roman defender to school. Ferrari might be his name, but quickness ain’t part of his game.

I’m pretty sure Roma’s pissed. Those 2 points they didn’t pick up would have helped out in their relegation battle…

Probables :

Roma : no stars or big names on this squad

For more info on Roma, you’re plain out of Luck ! I don’t know about any English sites that cover AS Roma. It’s quite understandable, seriously, who cares about Roma anyways ?
Roma Doni; Cicinho, Mexes, Juan, Tonetto; De Rossi, Pizarro; Taddei, Perrotta, Vucinic; Totti

Livorno : Amelia; Grandoni, Knezevic, Galante; Pulzetti, Vidigal, De Vezze, Bergvold, Pasquale; Diamanti; Rossini

Prediction : 3-1 livorno

I see at least 3 goals from our attackers in this one. With a little magic from the Italian Master himself Francesco Tavano, a rich man’s Francesco Totti .

Forza Livorno !

 Hi all !

Real life has been throwing me curveballs all week so this preview will not be as sexy as usual
Basically it’s a non-preview
You can pretty much read Jeremy’s assessment and just change his predicition to 1-0 Livorno.
And he’s so totally right about Livorno sucking at home…

This is what happened the last time they met  :

(…)

absolutely nothing, probably the most boring serie A encounter of the year
Forza Ragazzi ! Prendiamola !

* Seriously, there’s no good reason NOT to insert a foto of Monica randomly but I think there’s a Bellucci that plays for Samp or something

Livorno start the most importnat time of the season ; The don’t get relegated part of the season. Things are getting desperate, Livorno have been looking awful for the past 7 games and mix that in with Antonio Cassano’s comeback and the fact Sampdoria have won 4 of their last 5 games and you have yourself a disaster in the making.

Sampdoria are looking Good, UEFA Cup good so Livorno will have a tought task ahead of them. Tavano managed to blast a couple by Sampdoria in the 1st encounter of the year but i get the feeling a win isn’t the most probable outcome to this game. Livorno have been playing poorly at home, so maybe a trip to Aldo Spinelli’s hometown will boost their morale, add some gas to the tank and some points in the standings.

Now if Fabio Galante could get into Cassano’s head (like he does so well with Francesco – i have more feet than IQ points – Totti ) cause a red card or just manage to take Cassano out of the game (mentally speaking of course i’m not saying he should kick his ass but maybe, just maybe, Talentino would benefit from a good old ass whoopin’. MAybe that’d straighten him out a little)

This is what happened last time :

Martin Bergvold ‘s back and that’s the only great news. Unfortunately, because of Livorno’s recent shortcomings GC Camolese has decided to tinker with the Starting line-up ; wich means Fausto-even my mother knows i suck at soccer- Rossini will be partnering Francesco Tavano upfront. The starting line-up should look a little like this : Amelia; Grandoni, Knezevic, Galante; Balleri, Pulzetti, De Vezze, A. Filippini, Pasquale; Tavano, Rossini.Giuliano Giannichedda, Sergio Volpe and Jose Vidigal aren’t healthy enough to make the bench

Sampdoria :

Vinny Montella, Hugo Campagnaro and goalkeeper Antonio Mirante are out of this encounter

Possible formation (3-5-2):

Castellazzi;
Lucchini, Gastaldello, Accardi;
Maggio, Franceschini, Palombo, Sammarco, Pieri;
Cassano, Delvecchio.

Prediction:
Livorno will fight hard for this one, Aldo Spinelli loves sticking it to Samp’s president, a good friend of his. I’m pretty sure that Livorno can take Sampdoria by surprise and at least take 1 point from this encounter and maybe even bring back all 3.

Forza Ragazzi because ….

This game is as meaningful as it gets !

Livorno (3-5-2):

14 De Lucia,

77 Grandoni, 15 Knezevic, 6 Galante,

69 Balleri, 8 Vidigal, 11 De Vezze, 3 A. Filippini, 26 Pasquale,

10 Tavano, 22 Tristan.

(82 Di Matteo, 32 Pavan, 18 Rezaei, 4 E. Filippini, 17 Alvarez, 23 Diamanti, 81 Bogdani).

 All.: Camolese 

Forza Amelia-less Livorno!

* Spinelli has asked the Livornese faithful to remember all the good our favourite living communist has done for Livorno in the past.

Livorno will be hosting Cristiano Lucarelli’s (sic) Parma on Sunday. The Big Livornese will be coming back home for the 1st time since his departure for the whiter pastures of the Ukraine. I know that the Media’s all excited about C. Lucarelli’s return, but I have turned that page a long time ago. His return will most definitely divide the Livornese mass, but this game is way more than just Lucarelli coming back . Commies need to stop living in the past. It pains me as much as you, but Trotski and Gramsci are dead.

Parma’s Crociati, our unexpected, fellow relegation battlers, will be looking to impress Hector Cuper for the 1st time. The ex-Inter/Valencia/Mallorca/etcetera coach is back in Serie A, after Ghirardi axed Di Carlo last week. For all your Parma news, check out with Francesco. He has FIAT ads and all!

This is most probably the most important game so far this season. This is a genuine 6 pointer and Camolese can’t afford to lose this one. The 1st game of the season in Parma saw the Amaranto Liberation Army fall 3-2. Fortunately, that game marked the return to form of F. Tavano who bagged a brace in that encounter. Livorno are coming off a bad spell. Camolese has lost the magic touch he had at the beginning of his tenure, but la Squadra Labronica are more than ready for a mean little unbeaten streak. Add to that, this game’s at home,Livorno need some points and the Picchi will be Packed to either honour or throw Stones at Livorno’s most famous citizen. The packed Picchi will need to be the 12th man on Sunday because a win against Parma will do wonders for all our salvation needs.

This is what happened last time:

Molson Matchups of the Match :

Parma

Injuries : Domenico Morfeo, Ferdinand Coly, and Fernando Couto
Suspensions : The Falcon

(4-4-2):
Bucci;
Zenoni, Paci, Rossi, Castellini;
Dessena, Morrone, Cigarini, Pisanu;
Lucarelli, Budan.

Livorno

(3-5-2):
Amelia;
Knezevic, Pavan, Galante;
Balleri, Vidigal, Loviso, A. Filippini, Pasquale;
Tavano, Tristan.

Diego Tristan vs Hector Cuper:

I’m pretty sure these 2 won’t want to rekindle their non-pleasant Mallorca experiences. Both Latin blooded men will want to show each other who really was to blame. Nothing seems to be able to fire up Diego Tristan, the only positive emotions he has displayed all season came after his only goal. Let’s hope facing his old coach fires up the Andalusian Bomber…

Packed Picchi vs New Coach momentum:

We all know how a new coach brings enthusiasm to a squad (either that or they’re scared shitless of being out of a job next season). The Parma Posse will want to impress the new gaffer, so that might give them a competitive edge. However, a Packed Picchi is a rare sight! Livorno’s a city of around 150.000 citizens, the Picchi will be holding around 12-15 K, about 10 % of the city will be at one place at the same time. (A Burglars paradise)
Let’s hope they can transfer their enthusiasm to the boys and not just hate Lucarelli.

Lucarelli vs Livorno:

Marco Amelia will likely take care of him.Anyways, he’s not even sure to start.

Fill in the blanks or visit any other football sites for some useless over-hyping.

Forza Ragazzi! Dateci la gioia della Vittoria!

Prediction : 2-1 Livorno (but, if you have $ riding on the game, go for the X)

Lucarelli will get the opener on a sweet cross, Then Tavano will bring us back to level and Diego The Tristan will pull some Andalusian Magic from his ass before the end…

Di Canio and Lucarelli are now far away memories, but that doesn’t mean these 2 teams like each other. This Clash won’t only be between 2 teams with very different squads, it’s a matchup between fans, culture and ideology. The clashes between SS* Lazio-Livorno give place to one of the most political Derbies around. It hasn’t been a good year for both of these teams. Lazio must be pissed at being only in 12th place, assuming they had European ambitions playing in The Champions League this season. (Even if their Sexier Roman Neighbour, one upped them this week.) On the other hand Livorno would be quite content with a 12th spot right now. Giancarlo Camolese and la Labronica have picked up more points on the road this season than at home .

*Seriously SS, change that shit!

This is what Happened Last time:

That 1-0 loss was the 1st game GC Camolese was in charge. Since understanding quickly that Rehman Rezaei should be nowhere near a Serie A football pitch, everything started going uphill for the Amaranto Liberation Army after that Lazio loss.

Squads

Lazio

Starting XI:
Ballotta;
Rozenhal, Siviglia, Cribari, Radu;
Ledesma, Behrami, Dabo;
Pandev;
Bianchi, Rocchi

Livorno
Bergvold isn’t back yet but a fully recovered Tavano will be looking at upping his goal tally, which stands at 10 so far this season.

Starting XI:

Amelia;
Grandoni, Knezevic, Galante;
Balleri, Pulzetti, De Vezze, Filippini, Pasquale;
Diamanti, Tavano

Prediction :

If Livorno manage to clear away balls in the box, they should be fine. Unfortunately, Bianchi is a lethal poacher when he’s in the goalies 5 yard-box, add that to Livorno’s poor defending on crosses. This basically has the word Goalfest written all over it. We’ll probably get to see the diamond during the second half, I’d like to see that Tristan-Diamanti-Tavano – Trident for the 2nd time this season

3-3

Tavano, DIamanti, Tristan. Bianchi (3)

Forza Livorno!

See the link just there ? Relegation + Drop Zone + Wesley Snipes + All around suckiness + Money problems + Livorno + Silvio Baldini and voilà !

Wesley -Jungle Fever- Snipes should have quit while he was ahead. Preferably somewhere between White men can’t jump and The Fan or about 28 minutes after the release of Passenger 57. What did he do after that? He dressed up in drag with Patrick Swayze and then starting killing vampires in a ghetto-esque, euro trash-esque and gothic-esque woeful trilogy called Blade. Whichever version you prefer to hate is entirely up to you. (I mean how can a movie featuring Jessica Biel’s ass be so crappy?)

See what happens to your career when you decide to fuck with the IRS Wesley ? bad things, Demolition Man style bad things

On with the game !

This match will probably be an easy on the eye seeing how the 2 squads can’t afford to lose and will both be looking for 3 points. It should be a great relegation battle with bad defending and goals galore. Plus the fact that Suave Fashionista Silvio Baldini is bringing his classy suits (Not prandelli-esque but close) to Livorno on Sunday. This encounter has all the ingredients for a delicious Calcio delight.

Baldini’s Catania is coming off a midweek Milan draw and will be looking to get as far away from the drop zone as possible. Silvio, you’ve come to the wrong place my friend. The Picchi will not be looking to help you guys out. Livorno has another mean streak coming. La squadra labronica a.k.a. the Amaranto Liberation Army needs to bounce back after taking only 2 points from the last 2 games. Has Fernando Orsi been putting on a GC Camolese suit for the last 7 games ? Aldo- The Volcano*- Spinelli is fuming and has just reserved another lot on that Coach Cemetary behind the Picchi he just happens to own. GC watch out ! What the hell is going on ?

* The Volcano happens to be the nickname Aldo uses when he wrestles on the weekend. Once upon a time, it was also his stripper name, but that’s a whole other post…

17 certainties :

1- Francesco Tavano’s presence is indispensable to this team. This isn’t Valencia FT, we need you!

2- Aldo’s pissed

3- Diamanti’s on fire. He only needs to polish his great skills. The last 2 free kicks he took hit the Post against Inter and went in against Napoli. Can’t wait to see him partner FT

4- Edgar Alvarez is fast ! The Honduran’s useless but fast as fuck nonetheless.

5- Big Bad Bogdani is Big and Bad. He missed a sitter in the Fiorentina game and hasn’t played well at all this season. Where’s the Siena Bogdani ?

6- Martin Bergvold needs to come back ASAP! The young dane’s the only one who manages to link attack and midfield. His blond, yet solid, presence on the pitch

7- Giovanni Pasquale is bi-polar. GP has 2 gears; Good and Awful. Unfortunately, we’ve been seeing more of the woeful as of late. Giovà ! We need to avoid the drop and cash in on your ass at the end of the season, so get it together!

8- Davide Balleri is old

9- Super Depor Diego Tristan has not been seen this year. A part from bobbing and weaving around Matteo Ferrari’s Roma earlier this season, Diego has been nowhere to be found since then. Diego you’re on a 1 year contract and sucking, work it out !

10- I don’t have a number 10

11-g> Jose Vidigal has a problem with his balance. The Portuguese non-international spends more time on his ass than any other player I know not named Pippo or Simo Inzaghi. Only thing is that Vidigal isn’t a diver. He just sucks at standing up and not falling

12- In honour of Mitch Hedberg ; the number 13 is like a scrunched up B. I’ve been to hotels with no 13th floor cause it’s bad luck. But common, people on the 14th floor, you know which floor you’re really on

13- DDV is no DDR

14- To beat Livorno all you need to do is cross the ball in the box or earn set pieces; Livorno can’t freakin’ defend in the 18 yard box ! Head it away damn it!

15- The only reason why Livorno isn’t battling the likes of Foggia or Pescara right now is Marco Amelia. I’m sure that no other goalie has seen as many Serie A shots in the last 4 years. Italia take note, Livorno’s a Great training ground for the future goalies of the NT

16- Gionatha Spinesi and Juan Manuel Vargas will display some more awkward man love this season.

17- Fausto Rossini sucks !!!!

Squads :

Catania :
Bizzarri;
Sardo, Silvestre, Silvestri; Stovini,
Vargas, Biagianti, Edusei, Izco;
Martinez, Mascara

Livorno

Amelia;
Grandoni, Pavan, Galante;
E Filippini, Pulzetti, Loviso, Vidigal, A Filippini;
Diamanti; Tristan

This is what happened last time:

Prediction; Livorno 5-3 Catania

Spinesi Mascara and Vargas will score the Catania goals in the 1st half. Then Tristan, Diamanti and Vidigal wil manage to score 5 goals to see Livorno win. Livorno hasn’t had that crazy 7-8 goal game yet this season. Hoping this is the time it happens.

Forza Ragazzi ! Dateci la gioia della vittoria !