LQ ; Tavano Interview and 78 ways to satisfy your woman!

By: Marco Stucazzo | January 19th, 2008

Francesco Tavano is garnering a little bit of media hype as of late, seeing how he has scored as many goals as Kaka and Del Piero this season. So let me jump on this media bandwagon before it speeds off to somewhere hotter. The 6M$ dollar summer signing is showing that he’s not just a one hit wonder. He did have 2 goals in 8 appearences with Roma last year, but that wasn’t enough to see his contract bought out. On the other hand, Livorno felt he was the perfect substitute to one Cristiano Lucarelli.

The 28 year old is now happy to get all the attention he needs, and thinks he deserves, in Livorno. He’s the go to guy, the Penalty taker and gets to play with Spanish striker Diego Tristan. Not to mention he had the balls to ask Igor Protti for his #10 shirt back. With a fan base like Livorno, that’s a ballsy move and he has been repaying them with his work on the field

Let’s see if he can make them forget about Commie Cristiano…

This is my free translation of a Francesco Tavano interview released recently: The original article in Italian, can be found here.

Tavano, you happy now? 8 goals, Livorno is on fire, you’re back to your levels of old…
So let’s talk about your rotten stint in Valencia will ya? What the hell happened?

FT: It was like spending a weekend in Amsterdam with a Republican or Ned Flanders! It was the ugliest period of my career. Honestly, it sucked donkey dick! Me, like a fish, I was ecstatic about moving to a CL contender. But they just didn’t want me. At the 3rd training session in Spain coach Flores came up to me and said; For me, you’re less than useless. He never spoke to me again.

10 M$ to give me no playing time at all! Seriously, Why the fuck did they by me ?

But wasn’t there an Italian colony in Valencia? Didn’t they help out?

Stefano Fiore helped out for the short time he was there.

The Others?

Fuck them, i mean, I’d rather say nothing

January 2007, Back in Italy with Roma, but they didn’t purchase you at the end of the season. Have some thoughts on that?

It was a liberation! I wanted to come back in Italy, anywhere, as long as it was Italy. At Roma I was feeling and doing great. I was getting along with Spaletti and everybody else, I even did my part ; I scored 2 goals in 8 appearences. My dream was to play with Totti, it was amazing! The things I saw Totti do In training I can still remember. He did some unbelievable shit, he has eyes on the back of his ass! I would have loved to stay in Rome but they have amazing players, more amazing than me.

Tomorrow you’re playing Empoli; Will it be your game?

BTW, i’ve got the preview right here

5 years in Empoli, porco la miseria, 5 fucking amazing years porco giudo!. The people, the place, the team, the ice cream. If Empoli was a hooker I’d fuck it and pay extra!

If you score , will you celebrate?

Right now I’ll say no. On the other hand, I love kissing my Tattoo so you never know what can happen during the game

At Livorno, in came Mauro Camoranesi, I mean Camolese , and you exploded?

Camolese changed my mentality.He rebooted my system. If GC Camolese was a church I’d be a born again Camolesian. That little midget knows how to handle me. He gives me my space and gives me trust. I’m a player that needs to feel special and Livorno provides that. I’ve signed on for 5 years but I’m already willing to extend. If Livorno was a hooker, I’d fuck it!

Let’s say you have a great season and Livorno gets a Spanish offer that it can’t refuse. What will you do then?

I say why the fuck not. I’m Francesco Tavano , Ciccio, the Chichester, F to the T, bitches! (than sticks his tongue out screaming ehhh for about 40 seconds )

Even after what happened in Valencia? Even if you said you we’re as good as David Villa?

I say Bring-that-shit-on! I’m 28 , I’m well now and more mature all because Livorno and Camolese have given me back faith in myself . oh yeah! and i piss on David Villa

Francesco Tavano is Gangster people!